Krrish 3 (not a review).. :P

JUST IMAGINE ..!!!! (A dialogue in Krrish)
The reactions of various people watching Krissh 3..

1) A Indian kid who usually spends his entire childhood with POGO and Chota Bheem :

He enters the theater and with gleaming excitement in his eyes, huge expectations in his heart and beautiful memories of Koi Milgaya and Krissh in his brain. And he will not be disappointed. He'll cross his heart with promise, when the Krrish says "Don't try my stunts at home". He'll try to whitsle for krrish, which he can't and empathize with him, when he can. He'll go ecstatic when he sees Krrish flying along side an Aeroplane.  And since he dint see any thing beyond Chota Bheem, he'll go "Wow" and "Awesome" for all the action scenes because they are something " Beyond his Imagination", at-least to his level of exposure. But bottom line,  He'll have a Blast and waste 1GB of Internet data two months later to download a 1080p of Krrish 3 from torrents and store it in his computer forever. (If he has a parent like me, he'll probably hide that movie with a password, fearing the parent would delete anything from computer that will increase the child's dumbness. :P). Yes, kids will love this movie. But then again, they also love eating mud. What do they know ?

2) A poor Rickshawala, a Bollywood worshipper in his youth, a generation which sent Whats-app messages to their Girl Friends using pigeons :

He'll be pretty darn impressed. He'll be thinking, " Agar aaj Rajesh Khanna zinda hotha". He'll typically clap for all the old-school dialogues in Krrish 3, because they are quite similar to the old masala movies of his generation. Same applies for everything, from songs to sentiments. Even the villain's character is nothing but a mash up of X-men's magneto+professor X+ Amresh Puri of 1980s. After seeing all the grand impressive Hi-tech sets, his eyes will be rolling with tears of happiness. Happiness on seeing how advanced and "Posh" Indian cinema has become. And since he would have obviously seen Titanic and jurrasic park, the biggest english hits in India on those days, he is quite convinced that, "Yeah, We are reaching there, Bharat mata Ki Jai."

3) Rich-ass youngster, a Hollywood fanatic :

These guys would have spent half of their life speaking in Fake accents. So they enter the theater their ya-yas and yo-yos. They will be wearing sun-glasses INDOORS. And as soon as the movie starts, they'll go, " Dude that's copied from spider-man, Dude this is from Batman, Dude that scene in is X-men ya, Dude this, dude that, dude your-a** " and they'll finally end up with, " Indians never change man, Always copying". Though they are partly right, i wish they had spared a little thought for the imagination of the director, If not his execution. (Though i agree climax was like in Man of Steel, with the Hero and villain "9/11-ing" all the buildings in Mumbai, with unexciting action scenes Stretched like a bloody Chewing Gum, Never ends).

4) Our Neighboring Aunties. (Read : Star plus serials Fanatics)

" Oh how sweet na ? The father-son sentiment, the Husband-wife sentiment, The Grandfather-Grandson Sentiment. 'Shame-to-shame' (i mean it) Just like our Saas-Bahu serials, but with fancy-dress-Latex-suits costumes." (So any science-fiction movie is incomplete without Latex costumes huh ?)

5) Science Teachers :

"We should ban this movie or else children will get wrong opinion on Human Evolution and Adults will forget the Science they read in their 3rd Class CBSE science textbook. (LOL). For the Entire movie, they will just  be ROFLOL-ing to all those scientific terms that are explained in pure Hindi.

6) A Serious Film Critic who criticizes sharply, like a slap on a face  :

" The Back ground music is so bad, I would rather stab my ears with Anu Malik's Tongue. Why does the Villain's costume in Climax looks like it was assembled by the monkeys of Madagascar movies using a stolen aluminium foil from a lunch box. ? Why do we see so many brand hoardings in every shot ? Is this a 2.5 hour long Advertisement with a 10-minutes interval for extra advertisements. ? Why does that villain just kills his scientists and dad for no reason ? Is it just for the sake of showing villainism ? How mediocre ? Why is that side actor looking into the camera ? What is the  exact role of Kangana Ranauth, apart from Flaunting her b**bs ? (oops. :P). 

(But those are true valid points you'll ask yourself while watching this movie).

7) Hrithik Fans and Admirers :

"Why Hrithik Why ? Why this Kolaveri di ?"

( But They obvioulsy don't observe that Hrithik is only-and-only thing or person watchable in this movie. His performance as Childish-Adult Rohit Mehra, is still as awesome as it was in Koi Mil Gaya, though everything around him is shamelessly funny. No change in that fact mama..!!!).

8) Smart-asses, those whose predict ahead about the story, every thing is so obvious to them :

"Now she'll  kiss him obviously, Now there will be a song obviously, Now she'll fall in love with him obviously, Now there will be fight obviously .
 (Well yeah buddy, they are called Bollywood rules. i agree with him. Most of it is obvious pretty much. Though there are few surprises, they are not really worth your bucks. And if you had hopes that Bollywood will make something on par with Hollywood in the near future, you will lose them obviously.)

9) VFX and action movie fans, who have watched the climax of Avengers, 10000 times.

Guy 1  : OMG, so awesome, what software did they use man ?

Guy 2  : Looks like MS paint man. Hahahahaha. (They both LOL and Hi5 each other.:P)

Guy 1 :  Do you like those fight scenes, their choreography and all ?

Guy 2 : They Remind me of Pokemon fights. (they repeat the above. :P)

Guy 3 : If the guy who invented this green screen technique saw Krrish 3, he'll faint, then wake up and then he'll kick himself for inventing it in the first place. He'll try to dis-invent it to avoid further insult to his invention.
Guy 4 : Seriously bro, Shaktimaan's fights would have looked better if they had this budget in those days.

10) My reaction.

Honestly, I was glad that it was not as worst as Ra.ONE. Ra-one is an insult to the intelligence of humanity. Of all the movies I've seen, I had the worst of expectations on Krissh 3, thanks to trailer. After movie, there was disappointment, but less painful than i had for Ra-one. In krrish 3, the director atleast tries to bring some logic to the movie. Atleast Rajesh Roshan had some good intentions and made mention-able efforts to bring together all the plot-points and make some sense through it. That's something definitely worth a comment. Hrithik was very much watchable, but priyanka Chopra was plain annoying. And i have explained the role of kangana Ranauth above (LOL, but dude, she is hot, seriously. :P). Every single point i have pointed above under every reaction is absolutely true and valid. But overall it's a "For the Kids, by the Kids, With the Kids" movie. Despite it's rare positives, I wont recommend it to my city friends who will have to spend 200 rs because of me, so that they will come and kill me Later. Because, in that situation, even Krrish will not be able to save me. Even he knows what i deserve if i do that.

So folks, before watching, just decide to which category of audience do you belong and save your money. It's up to you now. May God ( Read krrish) save you from turning into atheist after watching those God-Allah-Bhagwan songs of Krrish 3. LOL :P.